"So many of ur friends make art and videos too? wow u have a lot in common! Too bad they're not closer so u could collaborate. but they're in Seattle.... wow.... This is just like iCarly."
-my mom
DKDHHDKDLJ
*holds up a jar* "EXCUSE ME... I ASK FOR EXTRA PICKLES"
-my mom, coming back from the store
"my god... she's huge. The mother of all berries. Would your friends call this a milfberry? this girl is JUICY"
-my mom, pulling a really big strawberry out of the carton
this was the strawberry in question. she do be lookin pretty milfy 🍓👀
"BE CAREFUL IN THE BIG DICK PANTS THEY STAIN EASIER!!!!! WITH SAUCE OR DIRT I MEAN. AAAAAA!!!"
-my mom, forgetting the word for "light gray sweatpants"
"gudmorning... it's Titty Tuesday! Would u like a waffle"
Thanks mom
"While I was waiting in the parkinglot I saw a lot of nice outfits! Are they homemade too? You kids and your cosplays.... My friend Sami is very good at that too. Plenty of costumes. but his most accurate one is the Heterosexual Man Outfit. Very convincing! It's like an alternate universe."
-my mom after I came back from a convention once
"I can't believe how they managed to make a cartoon horse so Chinese. I bet her parents made her go to Horse Kumon or something every Sunday and now she still partly bases her self worth on whether she becomes a doctor. Just a bit. Even though she's an adult you can't completely let go of your horse grandmother in your brain nagging you about it. Even if you worked for the government. You're still an anxious Chinese horse. And every year is year of the horse now."
-my mom, @ twilight sparkle
My mom has never even watched mlp, she either knows way more than she lets on or this says something about the character design.
"She's Chinese. It's the bangs. And the books. I had friends like that. Also the rainbow one is Chinese too but like the type like your friends that bleach a bit of their hair before dying it but it comes out that specific shade of yellow and changes the shade of the dye on top. Because they're Chinese."
@KC I much prefer this read to "Twilight has terf bangs", y'know
@BestGirlGrace yes. See. She can't be a terf. She's a a fag and female twink. Dash grew her hair out but twilight has had the same hairstyle since she was 6 because she's too busy studying at behest of her Chinese parents to even consider changing it. You can only have terf bangs if you're white but even then anyway in this essay I will
@BestGirlGrace Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony: does not have terf bangs, she's just Chinese and also insane from eating too many books instead of actually grabbing food when pulling all nighters
Rene Descartes from Real Life: this woman has terf bangs.
@KC looking up rene descartes and every picture is this fucking doubtful "huh" like I just said my pronouns
@KC motherfucker giving me the stink eye in the women's bathroom
@KC It's not easy being a girltwink! Especially one that's gotta study study study all the time to the exclusion of everything else.