this car is fucked up @bb@shrike.club

when you follow me this is who you're following

that's me in the konga
that's me in the donk ey
losing my bananas

i don't really expect anybody at all to wish me a happy birthday. and i'm ok with that. it's just nice to have one

anyways today is my birthday is my point

one of the best parts of being a made up guy from a brain is you can decide your own birthday based on what feels right & then, if you are lucky, get to celebrate it. i picked my own birthday long ago back when i wasn't always regularly fronting in the way i am these days

she is like a special little princess to me

i was trying to think of a kind of food where callie could pick parts out of it that she doesn't like and give them to me and we ended up at if she had a plate of spaghetti and meatballs and i picked all of the spaghetti out so she could eat the meatballs by themselves only

like i don't know what she's doing in washington because they need her on the tampa bay lightning asap

i started fronting and right away almost immediately callie shouldered me in the nose and then when she tried to turn to comfort me she headbutted me backwards

i love my clumsy wife soooooooo much

tonight is weed night and me fronting night which means that i'm kind of ambiently scared or confused all night and my brain doesn't work. this is ok to me tonight though

me: https://twitter.com/salivasisters/status/1752533374189572569

doing a bunch of little twirls

callie day callie day callie day callie day callie day

i think that's ok of him. i'm proud of two-face

callie and i watched the entirety of really bad tv show "Gotham Knights" together and a repeated fact established in this show is that, instead of having dissociative identity disorder, two-face has "identity dysmorphia." which makes him do evil things and kill people and have lots of sex. and i finally decided to google that term

callie and i were watching one of the justice league cartoons and we both very flatly said "hey hal" when it showed green lantern and then very enthusiastically said "sinestro!!" when sinestro came on

i wish i wasn't so... annoyingly needy. callie is really sweet about it but it's really no wonder when you examine it that i just don't have any other friends

epic woke battles of liberal