briar @nibl8@shrike.club

i think the pet owner experience is regularly eating only frozen/boxed food but also looking up “healthy recipes for dogs”

Told a joke so bad my gf told me to never speak to her or her sons again and climbed inside a box. I can now hear her watching tiktoks in the box

creeper

my gf is making the constellations for the dnd campaign she runs for our friends out of the freckles on my back. and i think i can say with pride that THAT is the gayest sentence i have ever said

Accidentally got myself buzzed by taste testing wine sauce before it was done reducing

ok so if you marry the devil is having sex with the devil a sin. like besides the premarital sex thing is there anywhere in the Bible that says fucking the devil is a sin

You guys i have a funny joke what do you say when a gay person loses

I need to show everyone I know this video of my girlfriends dog having a conversation with his llama

so my gfs grandma just referred to me as my gfs “friend” except. my gfs grandma also always misgenders her. so i always assumed she thought we were Straight Dating but she is fully aware we are sleeping in the same bed together, does she just think we are Cuddle Buddies?????

i am so hot

update im going for a sokka look

this is my hair rn btw

i want to be a short hair dyke

give me lesbian haircut ideas

it’s 10:30pm, my gf and i are driving home from Walmart after purchasing a pair of hair clippers and hair dye and we’re gonna cut and dye my hair. im fully aware this is an impulse decision and i do not CARE

if walking while farting is crop dusting then is walking while shitting fertilizing

adventures of working at a covid testing clinic: had people come in at 10am today wanting a pcr test for the flight to Spain they had at 2pm. i literally don’t know anywhere you can get a pcr test that fast if you are not actively dying

u know i just wanna say i think humans rlly got the short end of the evolutionary stick in that we have to eat food instead of photosynthesizing. like sure eating food is cool and all but sometimes i just wanna sit in the sun and be able to call it a day

i just watched a guy at the covid testing clinic i work at pull his mask off his face so that he could sneeze fully unobstructed and i have finally accepted the fact that we will live in a pandemic forever