housing plans, -mh, venting
every time i think I've got a chance for an ideal move reality crashes it down
wtf was i thinking proposing "split an expensive ass home mortgage" to a bunch of disabled queers, of course that was gonna get shot down. jess you fuckin moron why do you ever get your hopes up
housing plans, -mh, venting
like. why the fuckin fuck does "living in a state that's not actively trying to kill me" have to be so fucking expensive. why are traumatized people like me trapped in the places that are worst for us why can't i just goddamn live?
housing plans, -mh, venting
then again I'm being a horrible entitled monster wanting things like "living with loved ones" and "having stable housing where i can both be myself and not fear getting de-housed without warning" so of course the universe is gonna punish me for my hubris. only white men get to have that.
fuck should i detransition? at least then my unearned desires might get fulfilled
venting
god this is what i get for not moving out when i was 18. everyone else my age has been struggling and learning how to survive for 15 years, meanwhile i'm learning in the moment and every little piece of complication just makes me fall to absolute pieces
