a bedridden bipolar @SophiaSurname@shrike.club

god ok i can't watch another episode of this right now but y'all this show fucks

I take it back, Jughead is in the same show as Cheryl

Everyone is in a different show than Cheryl Blossom and I love it

oh because Betty is Archie's best friend

ok hey what the fuck why is the "everyone wants to kiss Archie" spin the bottle/seven minutes in heaven scene scored to Boyfriend by Tegan and Sara which is a song about not understanding why your best friend keeps lesbotically making out with you

I cannot deal with this fucking "the song that my parents were listening to the night my twin brother and I were conceived" bit

Ok so like seriously in episode 1 every character is either standing up to their oppressor or refusing the destiny that has been given to them and like.

Luke Perry please stop whispering

ARCHIEKINS??????

Yes please give me every main character's entire character arc in episode one so that we can get to the good shit

this show is blowing sooooo fucking many of its loads in the very first episode.

ok sure at minute 20 Betty and Veronica have a very good kiss and textually it's a like. Performance. But 20 minutes in.

unlike my other readings this one is insincere and only funny:

Cheryl is Homura to Riverdale's Madoka Rebellion

Ok so

You know how Riverdale is explicitly the kind of prime time soap opera where the premise is "We're a normal town but then a murder exposes all our dark secrets"?

Riverdale, the show, is that town.

The show Riverdale is spending season 1 establishing that this is a Normal Show. But there is so much signaling that "no you're wrong this is not a Normal Show"

ok eternal recurrence or something Archie's dad and Veronica's Mom were also involved in a love triangle where Veronica's Mom chose the rich kid over the hardworking kid --------

I see, Archie and the hot teacher with heart shaped sunglasses fucked and we're just firing that bullet before the title card

Ok you cannot tell me that the Blossom twins were not fucking. in the first 45 seconds they gave each other bedroom eyes and just now she called him her soulmate. I assume she didn't murder him because that's too obvious but like

The absurdity of this show is so clearly intentional and I'm really upset that people have been framing it as if the show runners dont' know what they're doing in that regard

oh my god Josie and the Pussycats are here????

Ok Veronica is Carlos With The Perfect Teeth to Riverdale's Night Vale