having a minor nervous breakdown over the prospect of telling my current orientator-to-be that i might not want to stick around his research lab actually now that the call for the master's program has started. i might develop an ulcer by monday
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my one weakness! the prospect of pissing off an authority figure in my life and committing some sort of unspoken academic social blunder without meaning to
update i talked to my friend who has been working with him for years and im normal again :) its gonna be fine. may have thought myself into a doom spiral a little bit but im now Regular once more. thanks for listening everyone
i really wish i was better at handling these sorts of situations. its so sucks to feel like a shaking chihuahua whenever i have to communicate a decision made with my best interests in mind that Maybe someone will not like to hear. and the very worst part is that im probably making it a way bigger deal inside my own head than its likely going to be <--- self-affirming mantra