i really wish i was better at handling these sorts of situations. its so sucks to feel like a shaking chihuahua whenever i have to communicate a decision made with my best interests in mind that Maybe someone will not like to hear. and the very worst part is that im probably making it a way bigger deal inside my own head than its likely going to be <--- self-affirming mantra
update i talked to my friend who has been working with him for years and im normal again :) its gonna be fine. may have thought myself into a doom spiral a little bit but im now Regular once more. thanks for listening everyone